


One Thing He Should Have

by JTxBojan



Series: Words [2]
Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: "Words" series, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 01:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JTxBojan/pseuds/JTxBojan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One thing Harry should have said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Thing He Should Have

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of 3 of the Words Series. Re-posted from my Tumblr.

It's a Sunday. It’s been four months since he left. Four months since you broke his heart. Four months since you broke your own. Four months. Four fucking months and you’re still there, in your apartment, dying to tell him how much you love him.

You’ve been wanting to call him. You need to call him. But somehow, you can’t fucking _find it in you_ to actually do so.

So you wait. You sit there, on your couch and you wait. You don’t know what you’re waiting for, but you’re waiting for something. 

Maybe you’re waiting for him to call you. Maybe you’re waiting for yourself to call him. Or maybe you’re just waiting for the pain to fade.

You’ve been at Liam’s place today. With him, Zayn and Niall. Louis had sent Liam a video and he wanted all four of you to watch it. So, reluctantly, you watched.

He talked about his life in Rome, how warm it was and how annoying his cousin could be.

Without really knowing it, you’re leaning towards your phone, picking it up and hitting the first speed dial.

He picks up after three rings.

_“Hello?”_

"You looked great in the video, Louis."

He sounds delighted, but somewhat surprised to hear your voice. _"I didn't think you'd watch."_

"I'm full of surprises, aren't I?"

He laughs. _"I didn't think you'd call either."_

You repeat yourself, smiling. "I'm _full_ of surprises."

He's quiet for a few moments, and then. _"Harry. If...if I were to come visit you in England… Would you want to see me? I mean. Would you... **Want** to see me?"_

Your throat seems to tighten up drastically, and when you speak, it comes out hoarse. 

"Don't you think I would?"

 _"I don't know."_ His voice is the epitome of sadness to your ears. _"No. I don't think you would, Harry. I think you wouldn't care enough to."_

His words burn into your mind, into your _heart_ , and you suddenly realize just how much you actually _hurt him_ before he left.

You say softly, hoping if he doesn't understand what you're saying, that maybe your tone will give it off. "Well. I'm full of surprises, right?"

And then he's laughing. 

_"How've you been, Harry?"_

You think: _‘Lost without you.’_

You think: _‘Hopeless without you.’_

You think: _‘Still in love with you.’_

You say: "I just…" You sigh. _It sounds like an "I miss you"_.

You can, almost, hear him smile, reminding you of _what was_ … Except not really.

He says: _"Yeah. Me too."_

You smile. You know what you want to say. You know what you _need_ to say, what he wants, no, what he _needs_ to hear. 

You say: "I just wanted to let you know that, even though you're in Rome, even though you're miles off, in a different country, in fact… You're still... You're still ours." _One Direction’s. **Mine.**_

You hear him sigh. You know that’s not what he wanted to hear. What he _needed_ to hear. His next words are filled with pain and disappointment.

“Thanks for calling, Hazza. Goodbye.”

You curse yourself for saying that. You curse yourself for doing that to him again. You curse yourself for being such a stubborn cunt.

You know he’s about to hang up, it was obvious in his voice. You know that when he does, he’s really gone. He’s really, _really_ gone and if that happens, there is no going back.

So you take a deep breath and for the first time in your life, you swallow your _pride_ and open your _heart_ to someone else, because you cannot fucking loose him again. You just _can’t_.

“I love you.”

The line goes silent and you’re holding your breath, praying to God that this wasn’t a mistake. 

When he speaks next, you know you can _hear_ his smile.

_“Took you long enough.”_

You can’t help it, but you burst into fits of laughter at his words, clutching your stomach as you laugh so much it hurts. He’s laughing too, that laugh that makes your heart jump up to your throat. It’s your favourite sound. _The most lovely sound you’ve ever heard._

“I’m sorry, Louis. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ve been a complete dick to you. I know I should’ve said something sooner, something to make you stay, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t. I’m so sorry, Louis. So, so, _so_ sorry…” You almost whisper into the phone as you fall apart.

He doesn’t speak and you prepare yourself to keep on apologizing.

“I’m so…”

 _“Harry.”_ He cuts you off.

“Yes?”

_“Shut up.”_

You do.

_“I love you too.”_

You smile. You feel a warm feeling spread in your heart and you want to _jump around the apartment_. You want to _scream_ , you want to _cry_ , you want to _dance_ , you want to _sing_ , you want to do _all_ of those things at once because you’re just _so fucking happy right now that you could explode._

You _want_ to do all those things, you really do, but instead, you take a deep breath and let your voice drop to a whisper as you softly say: “Come home, Louis.”

He’s smiling. You know he is. You can practically _see_ it.

_“Okay.”_

You let out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding when he says that and you smile. No, you _grin_. You grin wider than you have ever grinned before and you’re just too fucking happy to even begin to describe it.

“Come home.” You repeat yourself.

_“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”_

You’re _relieved_. You’re _happy_ and _relieved_ and _all_ of those fucking cliché things Liam would use. 

_“I’ll see you soon, Harry.”_

“Louis?” You speak before he can hang up.

_“Yeah?”_

“I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.”

_“Harry.”_

“Yeah?”

_“Breathe.”_

You smile and take a deep breath. 

He’s smiling too. You can _hear_ it.

_“I love you too, Harry.”_

He hangs up before you can have another _“I love you”_ attack and you can’t help but chuckle at that, because you _know_ that when he gets home, he’s going to be hearing those three words _over and over and over again._

You can _barely_ believe that it was you who made him leave because you couldn’t say those words.

You _can’t_ believe you were that close to losing him for good, because you were being a stubborn cunt.

You can’t believe that…

You stop thinking about what you can’t believe, because right now, you couldn’t fucking _care_ less.

You told him you loved him and he’s coming home and that’s all that fucking _matters_ to you.

And you’re happy. For the first time, you’re really, _truly_ happy.

_**And you know you definitely should have said that.** _


End file.
